At Noliimits, we’re always exploring ways to enhance personal and professional growth. Recently, we had the pleasure of speaking with a psychotherapist about mindfulness meditation. Here are some of the key takeaways from our conversation.
Why Does Meditation Sometimes Increase Anxiety?
Question:
I love meditation, but sometimes, instead of calming my mind, it makes me focus on my anxious feelings and sensations, sending me into a tailspin. How can I avoid that next time I meditate?
Answer :
What you’re experiencing is quite common. It’s why I often suggest beginners start with just one minute per day.
The goal of mindfulness meditation is to build your ability to notice when your mind wanders and gently bring it back to your chosen focus (like your breath or a mantra). Each time you notice your mind has drifted, you kindly guide it back without judgment.
Sometimes, your body might be too restless to sit and focus. When this happens, it can help to externalize your focus. Try engaging in a repetitive task like washing dishes, shampooing your hair, or brushing your teeth. Personally, I found that meditation became easier when I started practicing yoga. Activities like yoga, Tai Chi, or Qigong require you to focus on your breath and body movements simultaneously.
Remember, mindfulness meditation isn’t necessarily about calming your mind, although that can be a nice side effect. It’s about building the skill of noticing and controlling your attention. Initially, this might make you more aware of your anxiety, but you can then use various tools to calm it.
Struggling to Stay Mindful? You’re Not Alone!
Question:
I’ve always struggled with being still and mindful, focusing on the present instead of the past or future. Sometimes, even when I’m cleaning or being active, my mind loops through negative thoughts until I’m almost having a panic attack. With the one-minute-a-day practice, do you suggest only sitting in silence? Or can this be done with music or stretching, without those becoming the focus?
Answer:
Great question! Many people find sitting still and meditating to be anxiety-provoking. Can you use cleaning as a meditative practice? For example, if you’re vacuuming, try matching your breath to the slow back-and-forth movement of the vacuum. Or, if you’re hand-washing dishes, focus on the sensation of the water, the feeling of the dishes in your hands, and the moment you realize the item is clean.
Mindfulness is all about staying in the present, so we don’t get sucked into past negativity or future worries. It’s a skill we build, like learning a language, our multiplication tables, or playing a musical instrument. As Shauna Shapiro eloquently said, “What we practice grows stronger.”
When’s the Best Time to Meditate?
Question:
Is there an optimal time to meditate, or at least for starting to meditate? Should it be before or after work, in the morning or evening?
Answer:
Just like any new skill, the best time to practice is when you’ll actually do it. For example, while in the shower, focus completely on shampooing your hair. When brushing your teeth, pay attention to each surface of your teeth. While driving, keep your mind with you in the car.
Most of us let our minds wander, which can lead to unhappiness. The skill we’re building is noticing where our mind is and choosing where we want it to go.
Explaining Mindfulness to Fix Problems
Question:
How do you explain mindfulness to people who try to use it to “fix problems” rather than understanding its true intent? Additionally, do you have a resource for staying on track with mindfulness? I struggle to keep at it regularly and need motivation.
Answer:
Great questions! I remind people that mindfulness means intentionally placing your attention in the present moment, with kindness. Mindfulness itself doesn’t solve problems but allows us to effectively address them.
To stay on track, I encourage starting with one minute per day. Many people find this so effective that they stick with it. When one minute feels too short, increase to two minutes, then five, and so on. Sharing how it has increased my own resilience also helps motivate them.
Why Mindfulness Over Napping?
Question:
Why do you think not thinking is important? Why is meditating better than taking a nap? At least when we dream, we get a little movie to help us unpack what’s going on in our minds. Thinking about breathing just makes me painfully aware I need oxygen to survive.
Answer:
Interesting question! Actually, I don’t think “not thinking” is important—quite the opposite.
Mindfulness practice is about being aware of our thoughts, habits, and behaviors, and choosing how to think, feel, and behave. It’s like driving the bus, rather than the bus driving us. Have you ever driven somewhere and realized you couldn’t remember how you got there? Essentially, you took a mental nap while driving.
Mindfulness is the opposite of that. It’s about noticing the sensation of your hands on the steering wheel, the feeling of your foot pressing the gas pedal, and the cars around you. Meditation is a way to practice and develop this skill.
Marsha Linehan describes mindfulness in her DBT skills: Observe, Describe, Participate, Non-judgmentally, One-mindfully, Effectively. Developing these skills through mindfulness meditation helps us be aware of our thoughts and gives us the capacity to change our thinking, making breathing a restful and enjoyable activity.
Grounding Techniques for Trauma Triggers
Question:
I work with social workers who deal with trauma triggers, both with their clients and themselves. I often describe mindfulness as a grounding approach during a trigger experience. They appreciate easy-to-remember methods like noticing 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, etc. Do you know of other tools like these that are easily shared and remembered?
Answer:
I agree, having grounding tools can prevent panic attacks or self-injurious behavior. In an Intensive Outpatient Program, we used reusable ice cubes as a grounding tool. Another 5,4,3,2,1 method is using external cues like 5 things you see that are blue, 4 things that are round, etc. I’ve also used Child’s Pose (focus on breathing through the back of the lungs) and Tree Pose (focus on slow, deep breaths). My favorite is TIPP skills from Marsha Linehan. Here’s a great video to demonstrate this: TIPP Skills Video.
Finding the Right Meditation Style
Question:
I appreciate your suggestions around having too many thoughts when trying to practice meditation. The answer for me might just be finding the right style of guidance or no guidance at all. My anxiety is driven by being out of control. A lot of guided meditations use positive encouragement like “you are enough, you are worthy,” which feels patronizing. I’m confident and happy with myself, so it feels like I’m being talked down to. I need something to help calm me when I’m thinking of future plans or a current situation I’m not in control of. Would it be best to have no guidance and start small?
Answer:
Oh, I totally get you! Sometimes those recorded voices can be really annoying, especially the overly sweet ones.
I use Insight Timer, where I can filter for “Male voice only” or “background music on.” When I start thinking, “Am I a bad person because I can’t stand this?” I remind myself there are many choices because nothing suits everyone.
Try a few apps and find ones you like. I recommend searching for Mindfulness Meditation to avoid positive affirmations.
Our conversation with the psychotherapist provided valuable insights into the practice of mindfulness meditation. From understanding why meditation can sometimes increase anxiety to discovering the best times to meditate and exploring grounding techniques for trauma triggers, we’ve covered a lot of ground.
Mindfulness meditation is a powerful tool for personal and professional growth, helping us stay present and manage our thoughts and emotions more effectively. Remember, it’s not about achieving a perfectly calm mind but about building the skill of noticing and controlling your attention.
We hope these insights inspire you to incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine. Whether you’re just starting with one minute a day or exploring different meditation styles, the key is to find what works best for you and stick with it.
Stay mindful, and keep growing!
